So...
I'm supposed to tell you how to play me. You would think that it wouldn't be difficult, since I've been playing this role all my life, but it's trickier than you think. I'm not sure if even I know who I am anymore. Well, at least I know who I'm supposed to be, so maybe we can start there.
My dad's a big shot corporate lawyer here in LA. He's all into the LA scene, working with the music industry and movie producers. Big stuff. Naturally, that means that I've lead one of those ideal lives, if by "ideal" you mean having money, getting a new car for my 16th birthday, and all that. My mom's around, too, I guess, and she's nice enough. She works for my dad's firm, and she pretty much acts like his secretary even when we're at home. After all, he's the man of the house, bringing home the bacon, and so on, so his word's the law.
I guess I'm getting a little sidetracked. Anyway, I've always been a chip off the old block, at least in his version of the world. I made the honor roll all through high school, I ran track, I just barely missed getting elected Homecoming King, I had a bunch of girlfriends, and I did it all with a smile. God, did I make him proud of me. I was the golden boy, the Man of Steel, following in my old man's footsteps. It's too bad that I was rusting away inside.
I got into a bunch of schools all over (he wanted me to apply just so I could turn everyone else down), but there was never any doubt that I was going to UCLA. We wouldn't have had a problem paying tuition anywhere, but a public university was good enough for my dad, so it was good enough for me. Of course, I'd be working my way toward a top-tier law school. Nothing but the best for Mr. Webb's son, after college of course. My dad had me doubling in Poli. Sci. and English, since he knew that I could handle the load. Oh, I'd be working at the library, too, because that would help me build character or something.
Well, when I finally got there, things weren't quite as bad as I was expecting. I had the coolest roommate, this guy named Nick (not quite as cool as my name, but close enough). We got along really well, and we had a bunch of GE classes together, since he was majoring in Econ. We hung out all the time; well, whenever I wasn't working or studying. He's a lot of fun to be around, and he's a great listener, or at least he was.
Our first year together went by pretty well. Classes were manageable, and I made some close friends. I dated like a madman, though, you know, class took up a lot of my time, so that never went anywhere. Summer was a totally different matter. My dad got me an internship at his firm, and he had me working pretty much the whole time. Oh, it wasn't too hard or anything, but it really wasn't that interesting, and my dad was constantly checking up on me. In any case, I was actually glad when it was time to head back to school.
Nick and I were rooming together again, and things were going great. My class load was a bit heftier, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. We had fewer classes together, but we still hung out when I had the time. Then, things changed.
One of our friends, Jenni Wong, brought over a new girl, April. April Chu. I saw the way he watched her. Nick couldn't take his eyes off of her. She gazed at him the same way, fluttering those eyelashes at him, pretending to be shy and sweet. Of course, Nick ended up walking her back to her room. She's the first girl to bat her eyes at him, and of course he's falling for her big time. Pathetic, really.
I mean, it's not like it was such a big deal. It's just that he started spending all of his time with her, about the same time that my classes started to take up more of my time. Even when I did get some time off, they were off someplace, probably making out in the bushes for all I knew. I barely saw Nick anymore, and we started to drift apart. Of course, it didn't completely register for a while, because I was pretty busy writing papers and cramming for midterms. I could see what she was doing to us though. I just didn't think he'd fall for her "innocent girl" act.
My dad wasn't too happy when I brought home a B in my class on the political economy of former Soviet satellite states, not that he could even name one. The next summer, he had me enroll in summer school while spending my evenings interning at his law firm again. I would have been bored out of my mind if I weren't so busy all the time. When I finally got back to school, things didn't improve that much either.
Nick and I moved out into an apartment this year. I thought we could share a room again, so we could save some money and just hang out together, like we did in the dorms. Of course, April convinced him that he needed his privacy, so we ended up in a two-bedroom. They obviously took advantage of the separate room. Did they really think that I couldn't hear them going at it all the time? All that moaning practically drove me crazy, so I've been spending most of my time in the library.
Lately, April has been getting Nick to jump through hoops trying to impress her racist father. If what her dad thinks is so important to her, she should just dump Nick and find a Chinese guy already. Apparently, they recently had a big breakthrough, because Mr. Chu has asked Nick to deliver a package to April's grandparents in SF. Of course, it's an extra-special package that he can't just FedEx over. Nick, whipped as he is, is running off north as their errand boy, though he pretends that he was thinking of going north to visit his parents anyway. I, fool that I am, have offered to keep him company, not that he deserves it.
Oh. There's one more thing. It's kind of weird though, but I guess you should know, since you're going to be me and all. A few weeks ago, while I was washing up in the bathroom at the library, I met this guy. Well, I didn't really meet him, I guess. He just kind of waved me over to one of the stalls. I figured that he was pretty clean-cut and there wasn't anything to worry about, so I went over to see what he wanted. I walked into the stall, and before I knew what was happening, he was undoing my belt and unzipping my pants. I couldn't believe what was going on. I couldn't stop him, and I guess I didn't really want to. When it was over, he just grinned at me and left.
How did he know?
How did he know what nobody else knows?
After that incident, I promised myself that it could never happen again. I was still studying and working at the library, but I wasn't going to do that ever again. Of course, sometimes I still had to use the bathroom, right? Well, um... I guess it's happened a few more times. Each time, I tell myself that it has to stop, that my dad would kill me if he ever found out, but eventually I find myself hanging around, washing my hands a few more times. Still, nobody can know. I'm sure it's just a phase or something.
Don't tell anyone, okay?
At the beginning of the game, take this chance to talk with Nick, since you've barely seen him since you got busy "studying" at the library. This is your chance to bond again, without April getting in the way. When one of the judges announces the explosion, (safely!) fling yourself out of your seat, scream, cry out to the Heavens, or go nuts, as appropriate. Don't go overboard, as pretty much everyone should be dead within a few moments. When you die, just lie still on the ground with your eyes closed until a judge announces the continuation of the game.
When you wake, you'll be understandably upset, but you'll also feel a surprising sense of freedom. After all, your dad probably can't reach you here, and you doubt there are classes to attend either. Even if you're dead, Nick is still here, so at least you won't be bored. You'll fall into your usual patterns of behavior, being overconfident and maybe flirting with some of the women, though you definitely won't be taking that seriously. If Nick is still obsessing about April, you'll try to ease him out of it. You'll also want to get to know as many of the other people as possible, since you're probably going to be together for quite a while.
Don't let anyone find out about those incidents in the library bathrooms.